The Beaches Bare It All on ‘Touch Myself’

I never thought I’d be writing a review with the words “touch myself” in the title (and definitely not in a headline of a review ), but when it comes to The Beaches, you better believe I’m absolutely going to do it. Why? Because If there’s one thing I’ve learned about The Beaches, it’s to expect the unexpected—and then crank it louder. The Toronto-born rock band have been shedding skin and stepping into a whole new era lately, and Touch Myself, which is the fourth track off their upcoming album No Hard Feelings (dropping August 29), might be their most jaw-droppingly raw and emotionally unfiltered song yet. Yes, it's NSFW. Yes, it’s about that. But it’s also about everything else—grief, nostalgia, heartbreak, and how completely devastating it is when someone you love has rewired even your most private moments

The Review:

Let’s get one thing out of the way first: Touch Myself is not about what you think it is… or maybe it is, but not in the way you’d expect. There’s no sugarcoating it — this is a song about not being able to Pleasure yourself because your ex is living rent-free in your head. Yep. The Beaches have taken one of the most intimate (and rarely spoken about) experiences of heartbreak and turned it into an anthemic track full of shimmery guitars, vocal swells, and emotional landmines. And my god they nail it.

From the opening line — “Heartbreak, gold mine” — you already know you’re in for something special. That juxtaposition of devastation and glitter is exactly the kind of chaos The Beaches thrive in. Frontwoman Jordan Miller’s delivery is raw but not overwrought. There’s a shrug-in-the-face-of-collapse attitude to the verses that makes them feel conversational, almost like you’re reading someone’s late-night group chat messages: “Might cry at the party, hope you don’t mind.”

But it’s the chorus where this track truly devastates:

“I know I could have someone else / In the shower of a cheap motel / But I’m scared to even touch myself / ’Cause when I do, I think of you.”

Who hasn’t been there? When every attempt to move on feels like a betrayal — not to the other person, but to yourself. When your body isn’t your own anymore because it’s wired to someone who’s no longer in your life. It’s intimate and it’s heartbreaking, and The Beaches don’t flinch. They say the thing most people are afraid to say out loud.

Musically, Touch Myself toes the line between late-night confession and early 2000s alt-pop, with just enough punch to keep it from spiraling into full-blown sadness.

The instrumentation keeps things driving forward even when the lyrics are staring into the rearview mirror. The band — composed of sisters Jordan and Kylie Miller, Leandra Earl, and Eliza Enman-McDaniel — has always had a knack for blending tight, catchy hooks with complex emotional textures, and this track is no exception.

By the second verse, the humor kicks in — dark, of course, but very welcome:

“Velvet cushions / Just the feeling of them, oh my goodness / Up my insurance / Got therapy bills in the millions.”

It’s deadpan, it’s relatable, and it’s exactly the kind of self-deprecating line you text your best friend after a night of crying over an ex and watching 10 Things I Hate About You with your hand halfway into a tub of ice cream. The girls get it.

And then comes verse three, where the emotional arc collapses in on itself:

“Hid my bullet / ’Cause everything waist-down is broken / Don’t need no batteries / ’Cause the strap’s in the trash with my self-esteem.”

Listen… that’s not just a line. That’s a nuclear-level lyric. A devastating finale that somehow still lands with a smirk — and maybe that’s what makes it so genius. The Beaches manage to talk about queer heartbreak, sexual repression, and identity loss all in one verse without it ever feeling heavy-handed. It’s as raw as it gets, but it still rocks.

And the best part? Touch Myself is only the fourth song from No Hard Feelings, a record that’s already shaping up to be The Beaches’ boldest yet. Following singles like Jocelyn and Did I Say Too Much, it’s clear this album is less about chasing radio hits and more about chasing honesty — even if that honesty comes in the form of “the strap’s in the trash.” Honestly? Iconic.

In conclusion

Touch Myself” is more than just a cleverly titled track—it’s a bold, unflinching exploration of heartbreak’s most delicate (and, frankly, hilarious) territories. With razor-sharp lyrics, high-octane production, and a chorus built for anthem-level singalongs, The Beaches have delivered one of the most memorable—and downright fun—songs of 2025. Whether you’re navigating your own post-breakup blues or just in it for a sweaty, screaming good time, “Touch Myself” proves that sometimes the best therapy is a killer guitar riff and the courage to say exactly what’s on your mind (and… everywhere else).

So crank it up, embrace the awkward, and get ready to sing your heart out—literally. You’ll thank The Beaches later.